walloftext/hack.py

#!/usr/bin/env python3
from random import shuffle, choice, randint
from time import sleep
from sys import stdout
from os import listdir, path, popen

def gettermsize():
    _, columns = popen('stty size','r').read().split()
    return int(columns)

def p(t):
    stdout.write(t)
    stdout.flush()

RED='\033[91m'
GREEN='\033[92m'
RESET='\033[0m'

def runhack(f):
    while True:
        tw = gettermsize()-10
        tws=("%d" % tw)
        t = choice(f)
        s = ( ("%-"+tws+"s") % ("> "+t()+".....") )
        p(s)
        sleep(randint(1,5)/10.0)

        fail = (randint(1,5)==1)
        while fail:
            p("["+RED+"FAIL"+RESET+"]\n")
            p( ("%-"+tws+"s") % "")
            sleep(randint(1,20)/10.0)
            fail = (randint(1,5)==1)

        p("["+GREEN+"DONE"+RESET+"]\n")

if __name__ == "__main__":
    runhack([
        lambda: "Tracing IP %d.%d.%d.%d" % (randint(10,192), randint(0,254), randint(0,254), randint(1,70) ),
        lambda: "Exploiting Port %d" % randint(5,1024),
        lambda: "Reroute it to the spaghetti. Keep it in the loop",
        lambda: "Crack Steam-powered defense system",
        lambda: "Starting internet explorer",
        lambda: "Trying exploit 0x%X" % (randint(0,2**16)),
        lambda: ("Injecting red code into %s") % (lambda p: choice(list(filter(lambda e: path.isfile(e), [path.join(p,f) for f in listdir(p)]))))("/etc"),
        lambda: "Encrypting code",
        lambda: "Collect user hashes",
        lambda: "Connect to %s" % choice(["nsa.gov", "fbi.gov", "whitehouse.gov", "facebook.com", "zom.bi"]),
        lambda: "Hacking",
        lambda: "Initializing startup",
        lambda: "Linking graphic card",
        lambda: "Handling core optimization",
        lambda: "Charging Processor core",
        lambda: "Catalyst field enabled",
        lambda: "Receiver error check",
        lambda: "Self-diagnosis",
        lambda: "Loading data",
        lambda: "Resizing data",
        lambda: "Setting cpu clock to %.2f Ghz" % (randint(80,390)/100.0),
        lambda: "Setting ethernet data rate to %d Mbit/s" % (randint(300,10000)),
        lambda: "Authorizing connection",
        lambda: "Starting optimization processors",
        lambda: "Connecting to uplink drive",
        lambda: "Loading modem driver v%d.%03d" % (randint(0,2), randint(0,999)),
        lambda: "Linking to Mainframe",
        lambda: "Extracting data column %d using visual objects" % (randint(101,20987)),
        lambda: "Monitor mode on",
        lambda: "Testing link online on port %d" % randint(1024,65563),
        lambda: "Aux baud rate set to %d" % randint(1,30),
        lambda: "Write control mode",
        lambda: "Inserting parameters",
        lambda: "Bypassing kernel",
        lambda: "Verifying attributes",
        lambda: "Activating hacking stealth mode",
        lambda: "Hiding proxy",
        lambda: "Deploying core terminal script",
        lambda: "Decoding anti hacking software",
        lambda: "Changing root passwords",
        lambda: "Encrypting passwords",
        lambda: "Connecting core grid to system",
        lambda: "Loading space time information",
        lambda: "Establishing link to all systems",
    ])